Breastfeeding a Toddler

It's been a while since I talked about this, and extended breastfeeding has been on my mind due to the frequency with which it's come up lately, even while I'm in class of all places! In the near future, I will write about the practicalities of breastfeeding a toddler and how our nursing relationship has changed over the past few months. But for now, I just want to get up on my soap box and talk about public perceptions of extended breastfeeding.

In the US, most women who are still breastfeeding stop once their child turns one. This is in part due to the AAP recommendation, and its arbitrariness baffles me. As a result, women who choose to continue to nurse their children past the age of one are the target of additional scrutiny and questioning. "When are you going to wean?" becomes the default question when someone learns you are still breastfeeding. Nursing in public becomes more awkward because you can feel people staring and wondering how old your kid is. And heaven forbid you continue to nurse through toddlerhood and the preschool years. Then breastfeeding ceases to be a way to nourish and bond with your child and becomes something "gross." If you mention a child nursing at the age of five, as has come up in both of my classes this term (not brought up by me, even!), you are met with disbelief and disgust. Why does the US have such a screwed up opinion of breastfeeding? Is it because breasts have become so sexualized that we've forgotten their natural function?

When someone asks me about weaning or makes a derogatory remark about extended breastfeeding, I usually respond with three facts:
- The World Heath Organization recommends breastfeeding for a MINIMUM of two years.
- The average age at weaning worldwide is 4.7 years old.
- In most of the world, children wean between the ages of 3 and 7 years old.

We in the US are not the norm. It makes me wonder what the average age of weaning would be if we excluded the US from the statistics. Women who choose to breastfeed their children past the age of one, and even to the age of five, are in good company. They are not freaks. They are not "breastfeeding nuts." They just want to give their children the best they can and continue the incredible bond that is formed through nursing.

Now, it would be hypocritical of me to judge others for judging extended breastfeeding since I once did the exact same thing. But, with some education and experience, I changed my mind. And now I can only hope to change the minds of others.

The other day, we were out for dinner, and Ethan needed to nurse. As I fed him, I began to wonder when I should stop nursing him in public. I mean, I'd never seen anyone else nursing a toddler in public. And then it hit me. That's exactly why I should continue to nurse in public. Because as long as extended breastfeeding is kept behind closed doors, it will continue to be "gross" and "just wrong." Maybe I'll never change anyone's mind about extended breastfeeding. But maybe, just maybe, a woman will see me nursing my toddler son or overhear me quoting the above statistics and realize that it's normal and natural to nurse your child as long as he or she wants. And maybe she won't feel pressured to stop nursing after that first birthday. And maybe others will see her or hear her talk about nursing her toddler. And maybe someday extended breastfeeding will be seen for all of its positive, natural benefits instead of being an act of shame. And that possibility is worth all the dirty stares and derogatory comments.