Awestruck

Every mother has that moment when she first holds her baby that she just cannot fathom how she grew and birthed this little creature. They are awestruck by how amazing their child is. This is to be expected. What I didn't expect was to still have those feelings over six months later. I always look at Ethan with love, but sometimes when I look at him, my breath catches in my throat, and I'm struck by disbelief and, well, awe.

For example, the other day, I was sitting on our bed with Ethan, and he was "crawling" around on my legs, and I just could not believe this was the same little peanut that showed up on the ultrasound screen last January. I nurtured this child in my womb, I birthed him into this world, I nourished and comforted him to the thriving human being he is today. How surreal! This little person who has such an amazing personality, who has such definite tastes and opinions already, this is the same wiggling and squalling newborn they placed on my chest over six months ago.

And now that I think of it, I don't think this sense of being awestruck ever will go away. As he grows older, if anything, I think it will become more intense. I wonder if my mom still looks at me and thinks, "I nurtured this child in my womb, I birthed her into this world, and now here she is, creating and caring for another human life. How surreal!"