Succumbing to Sleep Training

Sleep has been a roller coaster with Ethan. He had always been such a good little sleeper. We were allowed to stop waking him to eat around 4 weeks, and that first night he went a 6 hour stretch. From there, he built up to 10 hour stretches in the swing. This was interrupted for a little while when we transitioned to the crib, but within a week, he was back to 9, 10, even 11 hour stretches. Then the 4-Month Wakeful hit, and I feared we'd never sleep again. But after 3 weeks of waking up sometimes every hour, he did a few 12 hour stretches before settling into a rhythm. He would sometimes sleep 10-11 hours but often woke once around 10 or 11 PM. Not strictly ideal, but totally doable. Then his first teeth came in. Ever since then, Ethan has been fighting the crib. He usually will go down fine, but once he wakes up, any attempts to sneak him back in the crib are met with an awake and screaming baby. Thankfully I discovered the mattress-on-the-floor technique, but that means I don't sleep as well and wind up sore. After almost two weeks straight of him refusing to go back in the crib and with him moving his wake-up time to just after 6, I was absolutely exhausted and in need of a fix.

I hadn't wanted to do CIO (cry-it-out). At first I said we could do some form of sleep training at 4 months. Then once he was 4 months, I felt we needed to wait until 6 months (per Ferber's instructions). Around 6 months, he was sleeping OK, so I pushed it off even further, being fine with nursing and rocking him to sleep. I worried about the long-term effects of CIO and having my baby not trust me as much. He'll learn to put himself to sleep when he's ready, right?

Well, last night he decided he didn't want to nurse to sleep. Instead, he'd pop off, reach up for my face, and grin. Cute, but frustrating. After 15 minutes of this, I decided tonight would be the night. At 8:13 PM, I put him in his crib, kissed him, and told him goodnight and that I loved him. At first he was totally fine, reaching up to turn on his aquarium. Then he heard the door close and the crying began. I went in after 3 minutes to soothe and kiss him. I went in after 5 minutes. Eventually, I waited 10 minutes. Each time I left, he cried harder, but the hard-core crying lasted less each time, giving way to softer fussing. Finally, at 9 PM, the crying stopped, but only after 47 minutes of crying. 47 minutes.

I expected him to wake up any minute. I couldn't get to sleep because I was so nervous about it. The next thing I knew, I woke up and it was 3 AM. The monitor was still silent. It was at this point that I decided he hadn't actually fallen asleep but must have fallen out of the crib and broken his neck. As a result, I couldn't get back to sleep for at least a half hour. It was a rough night.

But, y'all, he slept all night. He still woke up just after 6, but that could have been due to his later bedtime. He was happy and as thrilled as ever to see his mommy. This just might work.

Supposedly the first night is the worst. It's supposed to take 3-4 days before they go to bed without protesting, but I'm hopeful that tonight will at least be better. Who knows? By next weekend I may be fully rested with a baby who puts himself to sleep and sleeps all night long. I can dream, at least.