The Plan

Well, I forgot to include this one on my "Upcoming Posts" list, so I might as well get it out of the way now. As I wrote in my "Resolutions" post, I've come up with a plan to make my less-than-concrete "Lose weight" goal more well defined. First some backstory:

It's not an exaggeration to say I've been on a diet for as long as I can remember. In my baby book, my mom was very meticulous about recording my height and weight at each well-child check. She was also meticulous about recording how much weight the doctor said I needed to lose. At 3 weeks, the entry reads "2 lbs. overweight!" At 2 months, I was a little better but still "1 lb. overweight." At 3 years, the remarks for my dr.'s appointment were "Overall good, but could lose a little weight." Yes, my friends, I've been told my weight was a problem from the start. Now, putting aside the complete idiocy of saying a 3-week-old is 2 lbs. overweight, I can understand my mom's concern in wanting to give me as healthy a life as possible.

Unfortunately, being on a diet for as long as you can remember results in a very unhealthy relationship with food and weight. You rebel against what your parents stress is important. And since my mom stressed eating right (for me, not as much for my three older brothers), I rebelled by sneaking candy and cookies whenever her back was turned. To this day, if I eat a piece of candy, I feel ashamed and try to hide the wrapper in the trash so no one knows.

So were the constant diets successful? To varying degrees. In middle school, I was 142 lbs. and my mom took me to a nutritionist to try to get me down to 125, my "goal weight according to my height." Boy, what I wouldn't give to see 142 on the scale today, not to mention only having 17 lbs. to lose to my goal weight! I don't remember how much I lost, but I know I didn't reach 125. Fast forward to my junior year of high school. I'd reached a weight that even I agreed was unacceptable. So I started another weight loss plan with a good deal of success! Over the next year and a half, I lost about 50 lbs, and I felt and looked great. I still hadn't reached my goal, but I was working hard.
Then between beginning to date my now-husband (who took me out for ice cream and made me feel beautiful regardless of the number on the scale, for which I am eternally grateful) and starting college, eating right and working out fell by the wayside
again. In March 2008, I was preparing to graduate from college, looking forward to my wedding that June, and the heaviest I had ever been. And once again I knew it was time for a change. So I joined Weight Watchers. And it worked! From March to October, I lost 50 lbs. I still was nowhere near my goal, but it fit my lifestyle and the weight kept coming off. Then I stopped my birth control pills. And within two months, I somehow gained 20 lbs, despite continuing to eat right and exercise. Enter PCOS. Thankfully, my weight continued to hover around that new number, and there it remained until I finally became pregnant, one year later.

Sorry for such a long back story, but perhaps you can now see
what a tumultuous relationship I've had with dieting and weight. So here I am trying it all again. I'm not following any specific diet plan. I'm just eating frequently and healthily. I'm not tracking calories, and I don't deprive myself all the time. Remember, to keep my supply up, I can only lose a pound a week. For exercise, I've decided to start out with the Couch-to-5K program. It's an 8 week training course that starts out slow and builds up to, well, running a 5K. My first day was today, and, after a 5 minute warm-up, it alternated between 60 seconds jogging and 90 seconds walking for 20 minutes, followed by a 5 minute cool-down. I'm not going to lie. It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. And I'm suddenly wishing my neighborhood had a lot fewer hills. But I did it, and I'm going to keep doing it.

So what are my goals? Because I still deal with guilt and shame, I'm not going to go into exact numbers. But here's the summary:

Goal #1: Pre-pregnancy weight (Achieved 11/25)
Goal #2: Lose 9.3 lbs. from current weight (Goal date 3/1)
Goal #3: Wedding weight - 7 lbs. from Goal #2 (Goal date 5/1)
Goal #4: Next BMI level - 14 lbs. from Goal #3 (Goal date 9/13 - Ethan's birthday)
Goal #5: Lowest high school weight - 14 lbs. from Goal #4 (Goal date 12/31)

My goal dates are pretty conservative, based on about a pound a week loss. If I don't meet the goal date, it's no big deal, but it gives me a timeline.

And now that I've posted this all here, I have to be accountable, which is another part of my plan for actually achieving my resolution. This isn't going to become a weight loss blog, but I might check in from time to time. After all, one of the main reasons I'm doing this is to model healthy habits for my son. It's all part of being the best mom that I can be.